{"title":"Stuff Cat People Buy","description":"\u003cp\u003eWe've seen the TikToks. The elaborate cat castles. The $200 water fountains because Mr. Whiskers refuses to drink from a bowl like a normal animal. The matching outfits. We're not here to judge. We're here to sell you more of it. Welcome to Stuff Cat People Buy — curated with love, purchased with zero regret, ignored by your cat almost immediately.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCat owners are a special breed. Deeply loving. Completely unhinged. Willing to spend serious money on an animal that would absolutely not do the same for them. We respect it. Kind of.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNext door in Good Boy HQ, dogs are losing their minds with gratitude over a new toy. Here in Stuff Cat People Buy, your cat will receive their new purchase with a slow blink and a silent judgment. And you'll buy them something else next week anyway. We know. We stocked up.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSomewhere between \"practical pet owner\" and \"my cat has a better bed than I do\" lives the Sniffer Club cat customer. This section is for you. No judgment. Mostly no judgment. A little judgment. Maybe a little bit of \"They're all going to laugh at you.\" Shop anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"cat-bubble-backpack-with-fan-fit-up-to-12-lbs-space-capsule-astronaut-clear-window-pet-travel-carrier-backpack-for-cat-and-small-puppy","title":"Cat Space Capsule Backpack with Fan | \"Houston, Your Cat Has Air Conditioning Now\" | Expandable Bubble Carrier with Tent Bed, Clear Window \u0026 Built-In Fan | Up to 12 lbs","description":"\u003ch2\u003eThe Cat Space Capsule Backpack\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003ch4\u003eThe first bubble backpack was a carrier. This one is a space program.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWe already sell the bubble backpack. The one where your cat sits in a transparent dome on your back and stares at strangers with the energy of a very small, very unimpressed celebrity. That one was good. This one has a built-in fan, an expandable tent that deploys into a full cat camping setup, and enough ventilation holes that your cat has better airflow than most people's offices.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYour cat is now an astronaut with air conditioning, a tent, and a view. You are their rocket. This is the relationship.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWho buys this stuff?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eLook at photo one. A cat. Under the Milky Way. Next to camping tents. In a space capsule backpack. On a hillside. At night.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSomeone bought this, took their cat camping, set up the tent expansion under a sky full of stars, and took that photo. That person exists. They are your people. If you looked at that photo and thought \u003cem\u003e\"I want to be that person. I wanna freaking be CATNASA.\"\u003c\/em\u003e — you are already that person. You just need the backpack. Elon Musk has nothing on you, You're Feline Dusk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYou're going to buy this. Your cat is going to be launched. The photos are going to be absolutely unhinged in the best possible way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat the upgraded space program includes:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🫧 \u003cstrong\u003eTransparent hard-shell bubble front\u003c\/strong\u003e — your cat sees everything, everyone sees your cat, the mutual staring continues uninterrupted\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🌬️ \u003cstrong\u003eBuilt-in mini fan\u003c\/strong\u003e — climate controlled interior for your cat while you hike in the heat. Your cat has air conditioning. You do not. This is fine.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e⛺ \u003cstrong\u003eExpandable back panel tent bed\u003c\/strong\u003e — unzips into a full mesh tent giving your cat room to stand, turn around, stretch out, and survey their outdoor kingdom from a position of comfort\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e💨 \u003cstrong\u003e9 ventilation holes + 2 side windows\u003c\/strong\u003e — serious airflow, zero stuffiness, your cat breathes better in here than in most apartments\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🧱 \u003cstrong\u003eBite and scratch resistant shell\u003c\/strong\u003e — lightweight but tough, handles the enthusiasm of a cat who has opinions about being in a backpack\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e✈️ \u003cstrong\u003eAirline approved\u003c\/strong\u003e — yes you can bring this on a plane. Yes your cat will be in a bubble on a plane. Yes everyone will look. Yes it will be worth it.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🎒 \u003cstrong\u003eTwo carrying modes\u003c\/strong\u003e — backpack with adjustable chest buckle, or handheld carry. Hands-free hiking with a cat on your back in a space capsule. Normal.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e⚖️ \u003cstrong\u003eUnder 3 lbs empty\u003c\/strong\u003e — fits cats up to 12 lbs, small dogs up to 10 lbs\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e📐 \u003cstrong\u003e21\" H x 16.5\" D x 10.5\" W\u003c\/strong\u003e — roomy enough to lie down and stand up inside\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe space program upgrade chart — bubble backpack vs space capsule:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\t\u003cthead\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003cth scope=\"col\"\u003eFeature\u003c\/th\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003cth scope=\"col\"\u003eOriginal Bubble Backpack\u003c\/th\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003cth scope=\"col\"\u003eSpace Capsule with Fan\u003c\/th\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\t\u003ctbody\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eTransparent bubble window\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e✔\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e✔\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eBuilt-in fan\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e✘\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e✔ Climate controlled\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eExpandable tent bed\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e✘\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e✔ Full camping setup\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eVentilation holes\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e9 + 2 side windows\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eYour cat's general energy\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eFurious astronaut\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eSenior mission commander\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003ePhoto potential\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eExcellent\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eLegendary\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eUnder the Milky Way camping option\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eTechnically possible\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eSpecifically marketed toward this\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eYour cat's opinion of you after\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eUnchanged\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eSlightly improved\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe tent situation deserves its own moment:\u003c\/strong\u003e When you unzip the back panel it expands into a full mesh tent attached to the backpack. Your cat goes from \"in a capsule on your back\" to \"in a tent in nature with a view\" without ever touching the ground or dealing with the outside world directly. They get all the outdoor experience with none of the risk of actually being outside. This is peak cat accommodation and we respect it completely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOn the fan:\u003c\/strong\u003e USB powered mini fan mounts inside the bubble. Keeps air circulating on hot days, on hikes, in direct sun. Your cat stays cool. This is not a luxury feature — cats in enclosed carriers on warm days can overheat. The fan is doing real work here. Also it's extremely funny that your cat has a personal fan in their backpack and you are sweating on a trail. That's just the deal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe stages of space capsule ownership:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\t\u003cthead\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003cth scope=\"col\"\u003eStage\u003c\/th\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003cth scope=\"col\"\u003eWhat Your Cat Does\u003c\/th\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\t\u003ctbody\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eSeeing the backpack\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eImmediate suspicious assessment\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eBeing placed inside\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eFormal objection filed\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eBubble closes\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eProcessing. Statue mode.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eFan turns on\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eBrief moment of confusion then acceptance\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eFirst five minutes on your back\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eStaring at everything\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eSomeone stops and points\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eBrief moment of celebrity. They expected this.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eTent deploys outdoors\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eWalks out. Sniffs air. Goes back in tent.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eUnder the stars\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eLooking up. Actually looking up.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eGetting home\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eActs like nothing happened\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eNext time backpack comes out\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eAlready trying to get in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eBiscuit saw this backpack and tried to get in it again. He still does not fit. He watched a cat get zipped into it, ride across the backyard, have the tent deployed, and sit under a tree in their personal mesh pavilion with a fan running. Biscuit sat outside and watched all of this. His feelings were complicated. The cat did not notice.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eYour cat is an astronaut.\u003c\/em\u003e \u003cem\u003eWith air conditioning.\u003c\/em\u003e \u003cem\u003eAnd a tent.\u003c\/em\u003e \u003cem\u003eUnder the stars.\u003c\/em\u003e \u003cem\u003eThis is the mission they were always meant for.\u003c\/em\u003e \u003cem\u003eHouston has no further questions.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"SnifferClub.com","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Backpack + Fan","offer_id":44198353338404,"sku":"9581a4ae-b09c-4ff1-8ae8-0d596b54f4b5","price":43.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0789\/9142\/5572\/files\/acc394e93baa534dfc00e2cf283587d6.jpg?v=1779386426"},{"product_id":"hand-made-cat-hat-elastic-woven-cap-pet-hat-puppy-kitten-headwear-knitted-hat-party-photo-shoot-props-decoration-cat-accessories","title":"Handmade Cat Hats | \"They Are Not Okay With This and the Photos Are Incredible\" | Crochet Knitted Cat Headwear | Frog, Strawberry \u0026 Flower | Party, Photos \u0026 General Humiliation","description":"\u003ch2\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHandmade Crochet Cat Hats\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003ch4\u003eLook at that frog hat cat. LOOK AT THEM.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThat is not a cat wearing a hat. That is a philosopher. A philosopher who has been placed in a crocheted frog hat against their will and has used the experience to arrive at several profound conclusions about the nature of existence, the reliability of humans, and the specific betrayal of being hand-measured for a hat by someone who was visibly enjoying themselves.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe eyes. The stillness. The quiet acceptance of a creature who knows they cannot remove this hat themselves and has decided that screaming internally is the dignified response.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYou did that. You could do that. For the low price of a handmade crochet hat and whatever remains of your cat's trust in you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWho buys this stuff?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who saw the frog hat photo and made a sound. People who immediately texted it to someone with zero context. People who thought \u003cem\u003e\"my cat would look exactly like that\"\u003c\/em\u003e and were correct and knew they were correct and bought the hat anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIf you just said \"ME\" — obviously. Your cat's dignity was always temporary. The photos are forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYou're going to buy this. Your cat is going to wear it for exactly as long as it takes to get the photo. The photo is going to live on your phone, your Instagram, your Christmas card, and eventually your cat's memorial slideshow where everyone will laugh and then feel briefly guilty about laughing and then laugh again.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWorth it. Every time. Worth it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe hat lineup:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🐸 \u003cstrong\u003eFrog hat\u003c\/strong\u003e — the one. THE one. The hat that started a thousand memes. Your cat becomes a philosopher. The eyes say everything.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🍓 \u003cstrong\u003eStrawberry hat\u003c\/strong\u003e — for the cat who contains multitudes. Sweet on the outside. Plotting on the inside.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🌸 \u003cstrong\u003ePink flower bucket hat\u003c\/strong\u003e — cottagecore energy meets absolute cat contempt. Surprisingly chic. Completely unappreciated by the wearer.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat makes these worth it:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🧶 \u003cstrong\u003eHandmade crochet construction\u003c\/strong\u003e — actually made by human hands, not mass-produced. Each hat has character. Your cat will not appreciate this craftsmanship. You will.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🔧 \u003cstrong\u003eElastic fit with tie strings\u003c\/strong\u003e — stays on long enough to get the photo. That's the entire engineering brief and it delivers.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e📸 \u003cstrong\u003eDesigned for photos, parties \u0026amp; entertainment\u003c\/strong\u003e — this is stated clearly in the product specs and we respect the honesty. This hat has one job. It does that job perfectly.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e📐 \u003cstrong\u003eTwo sizes\u003c\/strong\u003e — S (under 2.5kg \/ 5.5lbs) and M (up to 7.5kg \/ 16.5lbs). Measure your cat. Size up if between sizes. Your cat will be unhappy either way but at least it'll fit.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe 90-second hat window — an essential guide:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\t\u003cthead\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003cth scope=\"col\"\u003eSecond\u003c\/th\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003cth scope=\"col\"\u003eWhat Your Cat Does\u003c\/th\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\t\u003ctbody\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e0\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eHat approaches. Cat assesses threat level.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eHat lands. Statue mode activated.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eThe look. That specific look. GET YOUR PHONE.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e15\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eStill the look. Still statue mode. KEEP SHOOTING.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eFirst attempted shake. Keep shooting.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e40\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eSecond shake. More determined.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e55\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eSuccessful removal OR strategic retreat to under the bed\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003ePhoto is already posted. 34 likes.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eCat emerges. Acts like nothing happened.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eTomorrow\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eYou try the strawberry hat.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA note on the \"no warming function\" disclaimer:\u003c\/strong\u003e The product specs specifically state this hat has no warming function. We appreciate this clarification. Nobody buying a crocheted frog hat for their cat was concerned about warmth. They were concerned about the photo. The photo is handled.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe existential frog hat cat — a meditation:\u003c\/strong\u003e Look at photo two one more time. That cat has been places. Seen things. Made peace with the universe and the humans in it who occasionally place crocheted amphibians on their head. There is no anger there. There is no resistance. There is only the deep, ancient wisdom of a creature who knows this will be over soon and has decided to simply be present in the frog hat moment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWe should all be so enlightened.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eBiscuit would wear every single one of these hats and wag through the entire experience. He would look ridiculous and joyful and completely undignified and not care even slightly. The cat who lives here wore the frog hat for eleven seconds, made the face, and has not looked directly at us since. The photo has 847 likes. We regret nothing.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eYour cat is about to become a philosopher.\u003c\/em\u003e \u003cem\u003eThe frog hat does that.\u003c\/em\u003e \u003cem\u003eIt always does that.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"SnifferClub.com","offers":[{"title":"Flower \/ M","offer_id":44198353928228,"sku":"5fa8be5e-cf19-4ec3-9632-564ef7a9ef55","price":6.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Flower \/ S","offer_id":44198353960996,"sku":"15256d67-81cd-4bb1-a6a4-c42d17c57893","price":6.73,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Strawbrry \/ M","offer_id":44198353993764,"sku":"45da8938-03f2-4195-9c90-a1264c8a3992","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Strawbrry \/ S","offer_id":44198354026532,"sku":"441b4b64-413f-4dcd-8273-7dfb7323cd6a","price":7.08,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Frog \/ S","offer_id":44198354059300,"sku":"856bd962-c4c2-4fe5-8843-f5434e206faf","price":6.83,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Frog \/ M","offer_id":44198354092068,"sku":"9871d91d-58cc-4f91-95a3-7fff99008c27","price":6.96,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0789\/9142\/5572\/files\/1771e3ffa31d0d76839d992bca091f8a.jpg?v=1779386429"},{"product_id":"self-cleaning-cat-litter-box-automatic-cat-litter-box-with-app-control-safety-sensors-odor-isolation-health-monitoring","title":"Self-Cleaning Smart Cat Litter Box | \"You Now Have an App for Your Cat's Bathroom\" | Auto Self-Clean, Odor Isolation, Health Monitoring \u0026 APP Control | Because of Course You Do","description":"\u003ch2\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Self-Cleaning Smart Cat Litter Box\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003ch4\u003eYour cat has a bathroom that cleans itself, monitors their health, and sends you reports. You have a bathroom with a squeaky door. Life is not fair.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eLook at that photo. That cat is sitting in their automated, app-connected, sensor-fused, odor-isolating smart bathroom and they look like they're waiting for their assistant to bring them the morning briefing. They are not impressed. They expected this level of service. They have always expected this level of service.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYou, meanwhile, are about to download an app to monitor your cat's bathroom habits from your phone. From anywhere. In real time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis is your life now. It's fine. The litter box is genuinely incredible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWho buys this stuff?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eCat people who reached a specific breaking point with the scoop. Cat people who saw \"health monitoring\" on a litter box and thought \u003cem\u003e\"yes, actually, I do want to know what's in my cat's fecal matter, and I want my phone to tell me.\"\u003c\/em\u003e Cat people who have spent more on their cat's bathroom setup than their own and feel completely at peace with that decision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIf you just said \"ME\" — obviously. You've been looking at this for twenty minutes. You've already checked if it works with your Wi-Fi. It does. It's 2.4GHz. You're good.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYou're going to buy this. Your cat is going to use it without acknowledgment. You're going to check the app anyway. Every day. Twice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat this thing actually does:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🤖 \u003cstrong\u003eFully automatic self-cleaning\u003c\/strong\u003e — cleans itself after every single visit. You will never scoop again. Read that again. Never. Again.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e📱 \u003cstrong\u003eAIR PET app control\u003c\/strong\u003e — start a cleaning cycle, check status, review health data, and monitor your cat's bathroom schedule from your phone like the devoted cat parent you absolutely are\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🏥 \u003cstrong\u003eHealth monitoring dashboard\u003c\/strong\u003e — tracks weight fluctuations, visit frequency, activity patterns, and generates health trend reports. Your cat has better wellness data than you do.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e👃 \u003cstrong\u003eActive odor isolation\u003c\/strong\u003e — automatic door-flap seals odors during use, not after. Outperforms carbon filters. Your home smells like a home again.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🔇 \u003cstrong\u003e40dB whisper-quiet motor\u003c\/strong\u003e — library-level quiet. Your cat won't be disturbed. Your partner won't be disturbed. Nobody is disturbed. It just silently handles everything at 3am like a professional.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🛡️ \u003cstrong\u003e10 safety sensors\u003c\/strong\u003e — dual radar systems (360° interior + 120° exterior detection), weight sensors, Hall sensors, movement gratings. The moment your cat approaches it stops. Full stop. No exceptions.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e😸 \u003cstrong\u003eSupports up to 6 cats\u003c\/strong\u003e — individual weight profiles for each cat so the health data stays accurate per animal. Your cat has a profile. Like a patient file. For their bathroom.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e📐 \u003cstrong\u003e57.6L internal space\u003c\/strong\u003e — fits cats 3.3–18 lbs, with a low 4.8\" entry point that's friendly to older cats, short-legged cats, and cats with strong opinions about stepping over things\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🧹 \u003cstrong\u003eWorks with most clumping litters\u003c\/strong\u003e — plant-based, bentonite, the fancy kind your cat demanded — it handles them all\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe health monitoring feature — the actual serious bit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Changes in litter box habits are one of the earliest indicators of health issues in cats — kidney problems, UTIs, diabetes, digestive issues. Most cat owners don't notice until it's been going on for days. This box tracks every visit, weight, and frequency pattern and flags anomalies. That's not a gimmick. That's genuinely useful information that could catch something early. We're making fun of cat owners buying elaborate bathroom technology and we stand by that — but this feature is legitimately worth having.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe app tells you:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\t\u003cthead\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003cth scope=\"col\"\u003eData Point\u003c\/th\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003cth scope=\"col\"\u003eWhy You'll Check It Obsessively\u003c\/th\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\t\u003ctbody\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eVisit frequency\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e\"They went three times today. Is that normal? Let me Google.\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eWeight trend\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e\"They're up 0.2 lbs. The diet starts now.\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eLast visit time\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e\"It's been 18 hours. They're fine. They're fine. They're fine.\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eHealth alerts\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eThe one time you'll actually be glad you downloaded this app\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eCleaning status\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eChecking it from work at 2pm for no reason\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOne important setup note:\u003c\/strong\u003e Do NOT pour litter in before you plug it in. Every time it powers on, the drum rotates a full self-test circle. Wait for it to return to home position, THEN add litter. This is in the manual. We're telling you here because nobody reads the manual until after they've already poured the litter in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's in the box:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e1 × Smart self-cleaning litter box\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e1 × Instruction manual\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e1 × Box of waste bags\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e1 × Litter mat\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e1 × Six-month warranty\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e1 × Reason to open the AIR PET app more than your actual banking app\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eBiscuit has no use for this product. He is a dog and he handles his business outside like a normal animal. The cat who lives here received this upgrade without comment, used it immediately, and has not looked at us since. The app says they visited four times yesterday. We did not need to scoop once. We have complicated feelings about how much we love this litter box.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eYour cat's bathroom is now smarter than your thermostat.\u003c\/em\u003e \u003cem\u003eYou're welcome.\u003c\/em\u003e \u003cem\u003eThey're not.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"SnifferClub.com","offers":[{"title":"White","offer_id":44198354747428,"sku":"ab41f416-4906-4753-afc4-faa7e120fb48","price":263.3,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0789\/9142\/5572\/files\/Self-CleaningSmartCatLitterBox__YouNowHaveanAppforYourCat_sBathroom__AutoSelf-Clean_OdorIsolation_HealthMonitoring_APPControl_BecauseofCourseYouDo.png?v=1779432996"},{"product_id":"cat-halloween-costume-anime-pet-clothes-for-small-dog-kitten-costume-wizard-accessories-outfits-s-red","title":"Cat Wizard Costume | \"Hairy Pawter and the Sorcerer's Absolutely Not\" | Hogwarts-Style Cape, Tie \u0026 Glasses Set | Because Your Cat Was Already Judging Everyone Anyway","description":"\u003ch2\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Cat Wizard Costume\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003ch4\u003eYour cat was already acting like they went to a school you couldn't get into. Now they have the outfit.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eLook at that photo. LOOK AT IT. That cat is not wearing a costume. That cat IS a wizard. A deeply unimpressed, profoundly powerful wizard who has seen things you cannot comprehend and would like you to kindly leave their study.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThat expression isn't acting. That's just their face. You've simply finally given it the correct context.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWho buys this stuff?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who looked at their cat sitting in judgment on the couch and thought \u003cem\u003e\"what that energy needs is a cape and round glasses.\"\u003c\/em\u003e People who have read all seven books, seen all eight films, and still feel the Sorting Hat made some questionable decisions. People who immediately knew which house their cat belongs to without having to think about it for even one second.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e(It's Slytherin. It's always Slytherin. You know it's Slytherin.)\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIf you just said \"ME\" — obviously. Welcome. The cat awaits their sorting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYou're going to put this on them. They're going to stare at you with the quiet fury of someone who has just been sorted against their will. The photos are going to break the internet in your friend group. Worth every second.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's in the set:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🧙 \u003cstrong\u003eHogwarts-style wizard cape\u003c\/strong\u003e — black with red trim, hooded, dramatic, exactly what your cat has always deserved\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e👓 \u003cstrong\u003eRound wizard glasses\u003c\/strong\u003e — they fit. Your cat will not acknowledge them. The photos will be spectacular.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e👔 \u003cstrong\u003eStriped house tie\u003c\/strong\u003e — red and gold because of course it's Gryffindor on the packaging but we all know your cat is Slytherin\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🪄 \u003cstrong\u003eVelcro closure\u003c\/strong\u003e — on and off in seconds, which matters because the window of cat costume cooperation is approximately 45–90 seconds and you need to use every one of them\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Hogwarts houses, cat edition:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\t\u003cthead\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003cth scope=\"col\"\u003eHouse\u003c\/th\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003cth scope=\"col\"\u003eCat Type\u003c\/th\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\t\u003ctbody\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGryffindor\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eThe cat who knocks things off tables with courage and zero remorse\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSlytherin\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eYour cat. Obviously your cat. Look at them.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRavenclaw\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eThe cat who figured out the treat cabinet and tells nobody\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHufflepuff\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eThe cat who actually likes being held. Rare. Precious.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe 90-second costume window — a guide:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003col\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e0:00\u003c\/strong\u003e — Cape goes on. Cat freezes. Processing.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e0:15\u003c\/strong\u003e — Glasses added. Cat enters statue mode.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e0:20\u003c\/strong\u003e — Get your phone out. NOW. Do not wait.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e0:30\u003c\/strong\u003e — Cat begins the slow walk of dignity to remove this situation\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e0:45\u003c\/strong\u003e — Photo taken. Historic.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e1:00\u003c\/strong\u003e — Cape is off. Cat is grooming furiously. You are already editing the photo.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e1:30\u003c\/strong\u003e — Posted. 47 likes in the first minute. Worth it.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecs:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003eSize S: Neck 7\" \/ 18cm — measure first, size up if between sizes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003eMaterial: Soft, comfortable fabric — gentle on fur and dignity alike\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003eClosure: Velcro — fast on, fast off, no wrestling\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003eIncludes: Cape, glasses, tie\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOn the \"daily wear\" suggestion in the original listing:\u003c\/strong\u003e We're going to respectfully disagree with this. This is a special occasion costume. Your cat has a reputation to maintain. Don't push it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eBiscuit saw this costume and had no interest. He is a dog. He would have worn it happily for twenty minutes and wagged the whole time. The cat who lives here wore it for 40 seconds, filed a formal complaint, and has not made eye contact since. The photo was worth every second of the cold shoulder.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eHairy Pawter and the Absolutely Not.\u003c\/em\u003e \u003cem\u003eComing to a living room near you.\u003c\/em\u003e \u003cem\u003eWhether they like it or not.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"SnifferClub.com","offers":[{"title":"Red \/ S (Neck: 7\")","offer_id":44198354878500,"sku":"b875eec2-229a-4ec5-92b2-1af4196cbc3b","price":8.96,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0789\/9142\/5572\/files\/3e94ce91ea8750e6ed10e28957782409.jpg?v=1779386445"},{"product_id":"tall-cat-tree-cactus-floor-to-ceiling-cat-tower-95-108-sisal-scratching-post-for-indoor-cats","title":"Floor-to-Ceiling Cactus Cat Tower | 89–99\" Adjustable Cat Tree with Hammock, Platforms \u0026 Sisal Scratching Post | \"Your Cat Now Has a Better View of Your Home Than You Do, But You May Have Just Lowered Your Resale Value\"","description":"\u003ch2\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Floor-to-Ceiling Cactus Cat Tower\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003ch4\u003eYour cat has claimed the ceiling. Congratulations. This is your life now.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYou had a living room. A nice one. Normal ceiling height, normal furniture, normal proportions. And then you bought an eight-foot cactus for your cat and now they live up there, near the ceiling, looking down at you with the quiet authority of someone who has been waiting their entire life for a high enough vantage point to properly assess your failings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe cactus goes from floor to ceiling. Your cat goes from floor to ceiling. You remain on the floor. The hierarchy has been established and honestly? It was always going to go this way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWho buys this stuff?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who looked at their cat sitting on top of the refrigerator and thought \u003cem\u003e\"they need to go higher.\"\u003c\/em\u003e People who have watched their cat stare longingly at the ceiling fan for three years and finally decided to do something about it. People who saw this product photo, thought \u003cem\u003e\"that is absolutely unhinged,\"\u003c\/em\u003e and then immediately started measuring their ceiling height.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIf you just said \"ME\" — welcome. You're in the right section. More power to you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYou're going to buy this. Your cat is going to live at the top of it. Your guests are going to walk in, look up, and say \"what is that.\" You're going to say \"it's a cactus.\" Nobody is going to have further questions because there are no further questions. It's a cactus. For a cat. Near your ceiling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat your cat gets:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🌵 \u003cstrong\u003eFloor-to-ceiling cactus design\u003c\/strong\u003e — yes it really is a cactus, yes it really does touch the ceiling, yes your cat is going to be beside themselves about this\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e📐 \u003cstrong\u003e89\"–99\" adjustable height\u003c\/strong\u003e — tension rod secures to the ceiling, adjusts to fit your specific ceiling height, installs without drilling a single hole\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🛏️ \u003cstrong\u003eSteel-frame hammock\u003c\/strong\u003e — 11.8\" plush bowl hammock at mid-height for the cat who wants to lounge dramatically while overlooking their domain\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🧗 \u003cstrong\u003e5 platforms at varying heights\u003c\/strong\u003e — floor level, mid level, upper level, very high level, and \"I cannot believe my cat is up there\" level\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🪢 \u003cstrong\u003eFull sisal rope scratching post\u003c\/strong\u003e — the entire main column is wrapped in sisal, which means your furniture gets a stay of execution\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🎾 \u003cstrong\u003eHanging pom-pom toy\u003c\/strong\u003e — dangling from one of the middle platforms for when the cat briefly remembers they are still an animal with instincts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🔒 \u003cstrong\u003eTension rod ceiling mount\u003c\/strong\u003e — no screws, no damage, no landlord conversation, just a cactus going straight to the ceiling in your living room\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e♻️ \u003cstrong\u003eCARB-certified board + plush fabric + sisal\u003c\/strong\u003e — safe materials, rounded corners, no sharp edges for anyone climbing at speed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe cat's day on the cactus, in full:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\t\u003cthead\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003cth scope=\"col\"\u003eTime\u003c\/th\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003cth scope=\"col\"\u003eLocation\u003c\/th\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003cth scope=\"col\"\u003eActivity\u003c\/th\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\t\u003ctbody\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e6am\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eBottom platform\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eWatching you make coffee with judgment\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e8am\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eMiddle platform\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eScratching the sisal aggressively\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e10am\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eHammock\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eSleeping with one eye open\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e12pm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eTop platform\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eSurveying the entire kingdom\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e2pm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eVery top\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eTouching the ceiling. Just touching it.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e4pm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eBack to hammock\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eNapping professionally\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e6pm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eBottom platform\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eBriefly acknowledging your existence\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e8pm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eTop platform\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eGone. Just gone. Up there somewhere.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e10pm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eYour bed\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eObviously\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecs:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\t\u003cthead\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003cth scope=\"col\"\u003eFeature\u003c\/th\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003cth scope=\"col\"\u003eDetail\u003c\/th\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\t\u003ctbody\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eHeight\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e89\"–99\" adjustable\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eBase size\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e17.1\" x 11.2\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eMax weight capacity\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e20–25 lbs\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eMaterial\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eCARB-certified board, plush fabric, sisal rope\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eMount\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eTension rod — no drilling required\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eColor\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eGreen (obviously)\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eIncludes\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eCat tower, hammock, pom-pom toy, manual, spanner\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOn the \"no drilling required\" thing:\u003c\/strong\u003e The tension rod presses between your floor and ceiling and holds the whole structure in place. It's the same principle as a shower curtain rod except it's an eight-foot cactus. Your landlord never needs to know. Your cat will never tell.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAssembly note:\u003c\/strong\u003e Straightforward boards and posts with a detailed manual included. Takes about 30–45 minutes. Your cat will supervise the entire process from approximately two feet away and offer no assistance whatsoever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eBiscuit saw this and tried to climb it. He did not fit in the hammock. He was briefly devastated. The cat who lives here was unmoved and went back to sleep at the top.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eYour cat wanted to touch the ceiling. You bought them a cactus. That's love. Weird, expensive, floor-to-ceiling love.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"SnifferClub.com","offers":[{"title":"Green \/ Singlepost","offer_id":44198355009572,"sku":"2562e87c-e49e-4a9c-930d-5ba45df79160","price":68.34,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0789\/9142\/5572\/files\/1c5e90510524bb0acca726981a64c987.jpg?v=1779386450"},{"product_id":"portable-cat-pet-carrier-backpack-transparent-capsule-bubble-pet-backpack-small-animal-puppy-kitty-breathable-carrier-for-travel","title":"\"Houston, We Have a Problem.\" Transparent Bubble Cat Carrier Backpack | \"Your Cat Did Not Agree To This But Here We Are\" | Capsule Pet Backpack for Travel, Hiking \u0026 Humiliation","description":"\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Bubble Backpack Cat Carrier\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003ch4\u003eYour cat is now a passenger. They have opinions about this. Nobody asked.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eLook at the photos. Really look at them. That cat did not choose this. That cat was living a perfectly dignified life, asleep in a sunbeam, judging everything from a safe distance, when suddenly — backpack. Bubble window. The entire outside world, visible in 360 degrees, whether they wanted it or not.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd yet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHere they are. In the bubble. Looking out at the world like a very small, very furious astronaut who did not file for this mission and would like to speak to someone about it immediately.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWho buys this stuff?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eCat people. Specifically, the kind of cat person who sees a transparent bubble backpack, thinks \u003cem\u003e\"my cat would absolutely hate this,\"\u003c\/em\u003e and immediately opens a new tab to check sizing. You know who you are. You've already scrolled back up to look at the photos twice. You're mentally picking which Instagram caption works best. You're wondering if your cat's face will be as magnificently offended as the cat in the product photo.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e(It will be. They always are.)\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIf you just said \"ME\" out loud — more power to you. Genuinely. The world needs more people who commit to the bit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYou're going to buy this. Your cat is going to hate it. The photos will be incredible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures your cat will tolerate at best:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🫧 \u003cstrong\u003eFull transparent PVC bubble panel\u003c\/strong\u003e — your cat can see everything. Everyone can see your cat. Your cat maintains eye contact with strangers to establish dominance from inside a backpack. Classic.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🌬️ \u003cstrong\u003e9 ventilation holes + side mesh pocket\u003c\/strong\u003e — fresh air, good airflow, zero excuse for them to be dramatic about breathing. They will be dramatic anyway.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🪟 \u003cstrong\u003eSide pocket opens as a window\u003c\/strong\u003e — for when your cat needs to physically extend a paw into the outside world to remind you they are still there and still have thoughts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🍪 \u003cstrong\u003eSide pocket also stores treats\u003c\/strong\u003e — because bribing them to get in is part of the process and everyone knows it\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🛏️ \u003cstrong\u003eSoft absorbent bottom pad\u003c\/strong\u003e — comfortable enough that they'll eventually stop glaring and just sit there like royalty, which was always where this was going\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🎒 \u003cstrong\u003ePadded backpack straps\u003c\/strong\u003e — comfortable to carry, which matters because your cat weighs more than you expected\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e📐 \u003cstrong\u003ePVC + Oxford cloth construction\u003c\/strong\u003e — durable enough for travel, the vet, hiking, and the existential weight of being a cat in a bubble\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe stages of bubble backpack ownership:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\t\u003cthead\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003cth scope=\"col\"\u003eStage\u003c\/th\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003cth scope=\"col\"\u003eWhat Your Cat Does\u003c\/th\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\t\u003ctbody\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eSeeing the backpack\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eImmediate suspicion\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eBeing placed inside\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eLoud formal complaint\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eFirst five minutes\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eFull contempt mode, staring at you\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eTen minutes in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eStill staring but sitting down now\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eThirty minutes in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eLooking out the window actually\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eSomeone stops to say \"oh my god your cat\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eBrief moment of celebrity. They knew.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eGetting home\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eActs like nothing happened\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eNext time you get the backpack out\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003eSomehow already inside it\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/strong\u003e Vet visits your cat won't see coming until it's too late, hikes your cat did not request but will reluctantly enjoy, travel days that require keeping them contained and entertained, and anyone who has ever wanted their cat to experience the outside world while remaining personally responsible for none of it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's in the box:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e1 × Bubble carrier backpack (Black)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e1 × Soft bottom pad\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e1 × Story to tell at every dinner party for the rest of your life\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eBiscuit saw this backpack and tried to get in it. He did not fit. He was briefly devastated. The cat was unmoved.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eYour cat is an astronaut now. They didn't apply. They got the job anyway.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"SnifferClub.com","offers":[{"title":"Black-Without-Cover \/ 40X16X34Cm","offer_id":44198355107876,"sku":"8cdab2f7-407f-43fe-a687-7c00ea789da9","price":35.67,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black-With-Cover \/ 40X16X34Cm","offer_id":44198355140644,"sku":"e60d3417-9905-41e2-b5aa-d8589122db7c","price":55.16,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0789\/9142\/5572\/files\/21738b989676ee4bf65008ffe6960609.jpg?v=1779386448"},{"product_id":"cardboard-cat-house-with-scratcher-catnip-16-5x12x15-burger-shop-for-indoor-outdoor-cats-cat-play-house-home-decor-cat-scratch-toy-hideout-for-bunny-small-animals-1","title":"Cardboard Cat Burger Shop House | \"Your Cat Is Mr. Manager Now and They Take This Seriously\" | Scratcher, Catnip \u0026 Drive-Thru Included | 16.5\" x 12\" x 15\"","description":"\u003cul\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e\n\t\u003cp\u003eThat cat sitting in the drive-thru window is the most content, most managerial-looking animal I have ever seen. They are RUNNING that burger place. Let's go:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\t\u003chr\u003e\n\t\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePRODUCT TITLE:\u003c\/strong\u003e Cardboard Cat Burger Shop House | \"Your Cat Is the Manager Now and They Take This Seriously\" | Scratcher, Catnip \u0026amp; Drive-Thru Included | 16.5\" x 12\" x 15\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\t\u003chr\u003e\n\t\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePRODUCT DESCRIPTION:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\t\u003ch2\u003eThe Cat Burger Shop\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\t\u003ch4\u003eYour cat has always acted like they own the place. Now they do. It's a burger joint. Drive-thru open 24 hours.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\n\t\u003cp\u003eLook at that photo. That cat is not playing. That cat is managing a shift. That cat has inventory concerns, staffing issues, and a very specific opinion about the temperature of the fryer. That cat opened this location themselves, hired nobody, and has been running a flawless solo operation from the front window since approximately Tuesday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\t\u003cp\u003eYou didn't buy your cat a cardboard house. You bought them a business. They were always going to end up in management. You just provided the real estate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\t\u003chr\u003e\n\t\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWho buys this stuff?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\t\u003cp\u003ePeople who looked at this product photo and immediately understood that their cat would wear that exact expression sitting in that exact window. People who have watched their cat sit in a box — any box, every box, always a box — and thought \u003cem\u003e\"what if the box had a drive-thru window.\"\u003c\/em\u003e People who want their living room to contain a burger restaurant operated entirely by a cat who answers to no one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\t\u003cp\u003eIf you just said \"ME\" — welcome to the franchise. Your cat will take it from here.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\t\u003cp\u003eYou're going to buy this. Your cat is going to move in immediately. They will sit in the front window and stare at you with the authority of someone who has read the employee handbook and found several violations. The photos will be spectacular. Also — it's a scratcher and it comes with catnip. So it's actually genuinely useful AND it's a burger joint. For a cat. In your living room. And you just became Assistant (to the) Manager. Or a fry cook. They'll see.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\t\u003chr\u003e\n\t\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's in the franchise package:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\t\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🍔 \u003cstrong\u003eBurger Shop design\u003c\/strong\u003e — full printed facade, drive-thru window, \"open 24 hours\" signage, burger decal on the roof. Completely committed to the bit.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🪟 \u003cstrong\u003e3 windows + 1 main entrance\u003c\/strong\u003e — front drive-thru window for surveillance, side windows for monitoring the perimeter, main entrance at 7.3\" x 7.3\" for dignified access\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🧶 \u003cstrong\u003eRemovable corrugated scratcher board\u003c\/strong\u003e — inside the house, keeps claws groomed, saves your furniture, fulfills their natural destruction instincts in an appropriate commercial setting\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🌿 \u003cstrong\u003eCatnip included\u003c\/strong\u003e — sprinkle on the scratcher to attract, engage, and send your manager absolutely off the rails in the best possible way\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e📐 \u003cstrong\u003e16.5\" L x 12\" W x 15\" H\u003c\/strong\u003e — spacious enough to nap, sit, turn around, and run a full service establishment\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e🔧 \u003cstrong\u003eTool-free assembly in 4 steps\u003c\/strong\u003e — two pieces of cardboard, no glue, no tools, assembles in minutes. The cat will supervise.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e📦 \u003cstrong\u003eFolds flat for storage\u003c\/strong\u003e — when the restaurant closes for the season it packs back into its original box (17\" x 13\" x 3\"). Your cat will not accept this.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e💪 \u003cstrong\u003eDense pressed cardboard construction\u003c\/strong\u003e — durable enough for daily scratching, sitting, napping, and the general weight of a cat who takes their property ownership seriously\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\t\u003ctbody\u003e\n\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003chr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe menu at this location:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\t\t\t\u003ctable\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\u003cthead\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\u003cth scope=\"col\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eItem\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/th\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\u003cth scope=\"col\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAvailability\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/th\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\u003ctbody\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNaps\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAlways. All day.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003eScratching sessions\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOn demand, no notice required\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003eJudgmental window staring\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003eContinuous, complimentary\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCatnip-fueled chaos\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSeasonal special\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAccepting visitors\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNot at this time\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\t\u003ctr\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCustomer service\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis is not that kind of establishment\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\t\t\t\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003c\/table\u003e\n\n\t\t\t\u003chr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAlso available in:\u003c\/strong\u003e Coffee Shop, Donut Shop, Forest, and Ocean styles — because your cat deserves to choose their own business venture. The burger shop is the flagship location but we respect a cat who wants to run a café instead.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\t\t\t\u003chr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAssembly note:\u003c\/strong\u003e Four steps, two pieces of cardboard, no tools. Takes about three minutes. Your cat will be inside it before you've finished assembling it. This is not a problem. This is the correct order of operations.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\t\t\t\u003chr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cem\u003eBiscuit tried to go through the drive-thru. He did not fit through the window. He sat outside and waited anyway on the off chance that service would be extended to dogs. The cat inside made no acknowledgment of his presence. The drive-thru remains cats only. Biscuit has accepted this. He does not agree with it but he has accepted it.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\t\t\t\u003chr\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cem\u003eYour cat is the manager now.\u003c\/em\u003e \u003cem\u003eThe drive-thru is open 24 hours.\u003c\/em\u003e \u003cem\u003eYou are not on the schedule.\u003c\/em\u003e \u003cem\u003eThis is their establishment.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003c\/td\u003e\n\t\t\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\t\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"SnifferClub.com","offers":[{"title":"Burger Shop","offer_id":44199497072676,"sku":"94b7f537-9b13-4782-93d2-fa07b1913a7a","price":31.2,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0789\/9142\/5572\/files\/f662036fc886900ad58c00c27679e92f.jpg?v=1779432451"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0789\/9142\/5572\/collections\/stuffcatpeoplebuy.png?v=1779658092","url":"https:\/\/snifferclub.com\/collections\/stuff-cat-people-buy.oembed","provider":"SnifferClub.com","version":"1.0","type":"link"}